Driving Home For Christmas
by Evenstar1002
Summary: Harvey offers to take Donna home for Christmas at her mother's place. Sacrificing his own Christmas plans with his family might just be worth it in the end, as the Paulsen women welcome him to the family and introduce him to their traditions. / Repost from Darvey Secret Santa 2018


A/N: This has been my third entry to the Darvey Secret Santa 2018; reposting it now to my own account. Thank you all for your comments and support, this whole community is a blessing!

* * *

 **Going Home For Christmas**

* * *

"No… no, no, no, no, no," Donna curses, letting the phone drop to her desk with a dull plop. "This can _not_ be happening."

Harvey had just been on his way back from Louis' office, when her frustrated words catch his attention. "Donna? What's wrong?" Harvey steps into the COO's office, concern written all over his face.

"The garage just called. They won't get my car ready before Christmas," Donna replies despairingly, biting her lips and hastily typing away on the keyboard of her laptop.

Harvey lets out a deep sigh of relief. "Jesus, Donna. You scared the crap out of me! I thought something bad has happened!"

"Something bad _has_ happened! They won't give me back Fernando!"

"Fernando?" As he takes a stop closer towards her, Harvey looks at her confused. Hadn't they just been talking about cars?

"My car, Harvey! They won't give me back my freaking car!" She hisses annoyedly as if he should have known what she is talking about.

"You named your car?" Harvey regrets the question the moment her angry eyes find his. Not that he really should be surprised that she actually had named it.

"That's beside the point! I won't get him back and that's a catastrophe!"

"Okay, Donna. Let's take a deep breath and just calm down for a second," Harvey tries, sitting down on the chair opposite of her.

"Harvey Specter. Never in the history of calming down has anyone ever calmed down by being told to calm down!"

"Right. Sorry," Harvey replies, raising his hands in defeat.

"Damn it... No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you," Donna replies, releasing a frustrated breath.

"You wanna tell me why you're so upset?" Harvey asks carefully, eying her closely. He hates seeing her in distress like that and his natural instinct – at least his natural instinct in regard to Donna – is to just make everything better for her.

"I wanted to go see my mom over Christmas. And now Fernando won't be ready and I have no idea how I'm supposed to get down to Baltimore on such a short notice," Donna explains and her disappointment feels like tiny stabs to his heart.

"Aren't there any flights?"

"None that would get me there in time. And none that aren't shamelessly overpriced."

"Rental car?"

"It's Christmas. If there any cars left they either cost a fortune or are in a worse shape than Fernando has been."

"Bus?"

"Harvey, how long have we known each other?"

"Thirteen years. Give or take a couple of weeks?" He actually knows that it's been thirteen years and seven weeks but he is not going to get himself into trouble by admitting it. Things between them had been so fragile in the past couple of months that he doesn't want to risk disturbing their new normal by admitting truths that would upset their shaky balance.

"In the past thirteen years, have you even seen me taking the bus? To anywhere at all?"

"Alright. Point taken," Harvey surrenders, scratching his chin in thought. He watches her for a moment, as she starts to agitatedly tap on her keyboard again. "Well. Then I'm going to take you."

"Excuse me?"

"I'll take you to Baltimore so you can spend Christmas with your mother."

"But what about you? Aren't you spending Christmas with _your_ mother and Marcus?"

"It would have been an option, yeah. But I hadn't decided yet," Harvey shrugs it off. No need to tell her that there actually had been plans, that he knows she wouldn't let him cancel if she knew. But the prospect of maybe getting to spend Christmas with Donna is by far way more appealing than spending it in Boston anyway and he knows that his family will understand.

"But Harvey… you're supposed to spend Christmas with the people you love," Donna objects, shaking her head barely observable.

"Who says I won't?" The words are out before Harvey can think about or stop them and only the shocked expression on Donna's face lets him realize what he had just said. He isn't surprised that these words and thoughts are even there inside of him, had spent a lot of time with Dr Lipschitz and then with himself these past few months to come to terms with the fact that he is indeed in love with Donna. What does surprise him however is the fact how easily those words had flown out of him just now despite him being adamant on not wanting to destroy that delicate plant that is their relationship.

"Harvey…" Donna begins and even Harvey can perceive the hidden layers to that one single word gently rolling off of her lips.

"No arguments, Donna. When did you plan on leaving tomorrow?" Harvey asks, the tone in his voice definitely leaving no room for discussion.

"7 am? I wanted to have an early start before the highways will be blocked later that day. And I promised my mom I'd be there to pick out the tree before lunch. It's one of our few traditions… we go into town, get a tree and afterwards have lunch at Mel's, a cozy little diner that belongs to my mother's best friend. And I'd hate to miss it since my sister already had to cancel her trip to Baltimore due to work…" Donna explains and the disappointment in her voice is slowly replaced with hope and anticipation upon realizing that she might get to spend Christmas with her loved ones after all. With all of them.

"Alright. You better be ready at seven then. We don't wanna be late," Harvey replies, getting up from the chair.

"And this is really okay for you?" Donna inquires once more, looking for reassurance.

"Yes, absolutely. Will it be for you? And your mom?" Harvey wants to know, only now realizing that he hadn't even thought about that yet.

"Of course. We'll be happy to have you," Donna immediately replies.

"Great. Well. I'll get back to work then. I need to take care of a couple more things before we leave." He's already by the door, when he is stopped by her soft voice.

"Harvey?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you," she says and the sincere and grateful look in her eyes makes him lose his breath for a second. He nods at her with a bright smile, before rounding the corner and heading down the hall.

* * *

It had just started to snow about an hour before the door to Donna's building closes behind her. It's still dark outside but she has no trouble finding Harvey, who had parked his new black Grand Cherokee under the nearest street lamp. He is leaning against his car and judging from the traces of snow on his shoulders he had already been waiting for her for a while. As she walks closer, she musters him in his black slacks and black coat, the light grey scarf around his neck the only color he is wearing. Her heart skips a beat or three, the sight of him outside of a suit still foreign – though undoubtedly very welcomed – after thirteen years of working together. In his hands, he holds two cups of coffee that he raises in a gesture of welcome.

"Good morning," Donna greets him joyfully as she comes to stand before him.

"Good morning to you, too," Harvey replies, pushing himself away from his car.

"Did you wait for long?"

"No, just a couple of minutes. Here, hold these for a second," Harvey tells her and hands her the paper cups. He shoves his left hand into his pocket and seconds later, as if by magic, the trunk opens. He safely stores her bright yellow trolley suitcase right next to his grey one, before he opens the passenger's seat to help her in.

"You got everything you need?" Harvey asks as he fastens his own seatbelt a moment later.

"Yeah, I'm all set," Donna replies with a thankful smile.

Harvey starts the engine, a low rumble and slight vibration bringing the car alive. The heater immediately blows warm air through the confined space and quietly in the background, some jazz version of _Last Christmas_ starts playing.

"Really, Harvey? Last Christmas?"

"It's jazz," Harvey justifies his choice of music.

"But it's _Last Christmas_."

"Well, I figured you'd want to listen to Christmas music during the drive. This way I can at least pretend to actually like it," Harvey replies with a shrug.

"It's only the two of us here, Harvey. You can just admit that you actually like _Last Christmas_ ," Donna chuckles, patting his shoulder mockingly.

"When has it ever been wise to tease the driver, Donna?"

"That would imply that you actually were driving," Donna assesses. "So far we have yet to move forward."

Harvey sighs vocally and Donna looks outside of her window to hide the smile that is spreading on her face as Harvey sets the car in motion. Soon they leave the street canyons of New York City behind, heading down south towards Baltimore.

The more distance they put between them and the city, the easier it feels for Donna to finally relax. To leave work and the firm and all of its implications behind. Her lungs feel like they can finally expand freely, enabling her to take deep and even breaths. She can feel the warmth spreading through her body, satisfaction and content settling over her like a blanket. It's meditating, really, her breathing and _his_ , the music and the soft vibrations of the car and as she closes her eyes, she lets go of it all. The stress, the turmoil, the inner tension. The last thing she feels, before sleep finally pulls her under, is how she wishes his warm and calming presence would never leave her side again.

* * *

Three hours later, Harvey safely parks the car in front of Donna's mom's house. It had kept snowing all the way down to Baltimore and by the time of their arrival, snow had already covered the ground and the streets in inches of white. Donna is still sound asleep beside him and after he turns off the car he allows himself a moment to study her. Her expression is peaceful, as slow and rhythmic breaths leave her slightly opened lips. A stray strand of red hair had escaped her pony tail and is hanging loosely across her forehead. Harvey hesitates for just a second, before carefully reaching for it. He lets it glide through his fingers and it's as soft and silky as he remembers. Forbidden and suppressed pictures fill his head, making his heart stutter for all those seconds it takes him to put them right back where they came from. With a sigh, he gently sweeps the strand out of her face, focusing then on waking her up.

"Donna?" He whispers quietly, tentatively stroking her shoulder. "Donna? Wake up. We're here."

Tiredly she opens her eyes and it takes her a moment to focus on his face. Confusion and surprise are quickly replaced by a soft and affectionate smile.

"Heeey," she mumbles sleepily, closing her eyes again for a minute before stretching herself under a yawn. Mid-stretch she stops jerkily and hisses: "Ouch."

"What's wrong?" Harvey asks concerned, turning towards her with a questioning look.

"My neck. Ugh," Donna winces, rubbing over a spot right above her shoulder. "Why do none of these car companies ever consider the people that are actually trying to sleep in their vehicles?"

"Probably because cars aren't really meant to be slept in?"

"Yeah well. There you have your market gap," she says, before grabbing for her purse lying between her legs. "Anyway. Ready to meet the mother?" Donna jokes, trying to cover the fact that she is acutely aware of just how much this indeed felt a little like she would be introducing her boyfriend to her mother.

Harvey watches her for a moment. Neither of them says a word until Donna looks away uncertainly. Harvey chuckles under his breath. "What?" Donna wants to know, looking right back at him then.

"Are you actually nervous?"

"What? Don't be ridiculous, Harvey. It's not like you two haven't met before."

"I know that. Do you?"

Donna's eyebrows furrow but instead of saying anything more, she opens the door and hops outside, almost slipping on the icy underground. Harvey exits the car on the opposite side and they had just unloaded the trunk, when the door of Donna's mom's house opens.

"Donna! Harvey! You made it! I'm so glad you are finally here!" She says excitedly as she walks down the little pathway with open arms.

"Mom!" Donna sighs, wrapping her arms her mother in a tight hug. They stay like that for a while, both visibly enjoying their reunion. Harvey watches in awe and hopes that one day, there would be just as much unconditional love between him and his mother again than it is between Donna and hers. They reluctantly pull apart and before Harvey knows what's happening, Donna's mom pulls him into an equally tight hug. "Thank you for brining my girl home," she whispers, stroking over his back in a loving gesture.

Harvey's heart pounds against his chest and blood is rushing audibly through his ears. They had only met once before and it had been years ago. And yet, her hug feels like they had been doing it all this time and he can almost feel the same kind of love she had just shared with her daughter. "Anytime. Thank you for having me, Susanna."

"Let's get out of the snow and into the warmth," Susanna says after she releases Harvey from the embrace. He grabs both his and Donna's luggage, following the mother and daughter pair into the house.

Upon entering the building, Harvey is instantaneously surrounded by the smell of chocolate and cinnamon floating down from the hallway towards them. He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. "I have one last batch of cookies in the oven. They should be ready any minute," Sunna explains. "Leave your suitcases here. I'll give you a tour first." Harvey hangs his coat up on the coatrack in the corner, afterwards helping Donna pull off hers as well, before they follow her mom through the house.

Immediately to the right, a big and spacious living room welcomes them. The opposite wall from where they are standing is made up of a huge glass front that gives way to the beautiful view of the garden outside. On the wall to the left, there is a cozy little fireplace that had already been lit, the flames dancing excitedly in it's confinement. At least a dozen pictures that Harvey can't see from the distance adorned the mantle piece and he is already looking forward to getting a closer look at them later. The left wall is an over dimensional book case, only disrupted by a doorway arch leading to the dining room. In the corner of the glass wall and the book case stood an elegant, black grand piano and Harvey makes a mental note to ask Donna to play a song later. The room had already been decorated but there is a big moving box standing in front of the piano that has garlands and more decorations peeking out from the top.

"The children's box!" Donna claps joyously as she sees the box in the corner.

"The what?" Harvey chuckles amused, watching Donna as she walks over to the carton on the ground.

"The children's box," Susanna begins to explain, "is a box full of Christmas decorations that Donna and Claudia made in school or of things that hold special meaning to them. It's kind of our tradition that I'd wait with decorating these treasures until both of the girls are home for the holidays. I guess you'll have to take Claudia's place with helping this year," Susanna finishes, touching Harvey's back and smiling at him gently. "But that'll have to wait. Let's finish the tour so we can head out to get the Christmas tree in a few. We don't want to get the very last one, right?"

Susanna leads them through the dining room to the kitchen, where the smell of chocolate and cinnamon intensifies. A baking tray full of baked cookies is already resting on the isle, a box with even more cookies right beside it.

"Are you expecting an army?" Donna laughs, leaning over box to get a better look at and smell of them. She closes her eyes in content, sighing peacefully. Again, Harvey can't help but simply watch her, and the way she sincerely enjoys those little things and moments is doing something profoundly to his heart. He knows he had always loved and admired her for the tough and strong and ambitious woman that she was in the office just as much as for the warm-hearted, caring and empathetic friend she had always been to him and the people around her. But seeing her so relaxed and carefree in her familiar environment just then, her practically glowing with love and affection, it almost pulls the rug right out from under his feet. It pushes his own love and affection right to the surface, pulling him towards her like two opposite magnetic poles yearning to be united. Seeing her like this feels like seeing her true self for the very first time and right then and there, he falls for Donna all over again. Deeply. Quickly. Unstoppable. And he wants her. More than ever before. He is this close to just let it out now, to tell her how much she means to him and how he wants to spend all of his remaining Christmases on this earth with her, just as every other day of his life. He is so wrapped up in staring at her that he doesn't even notice her mother watching him. Only when she speaks is Harvey pulled back to reality.

"No, no army" Susanna says with her eyes still on Harvey for a moment, before turning her attention to her daughter. "I wanted to bring some of them to the Schmitt's and the Longberry's later or tomorrow."

"That sounds like a lovely idea," Donna agrees, walking over towards Susanna and Harvey now. She smiles at him on her way, open and brightly and it robs his breath all over again.

They finish the tour by taking the stairs up to the first floor, Harvey carrying both their suitcase. There's Susanna's bedroom on the left and a bathroom connecting her room with the first guest room. To the right, there is the second guest room, a taller one with its own bathroom and a walk-in closet attached to it. The short hallway ends with a glass door that leads outside on a small balcony on which they end their little tour.

Once back inside, Donna picks the guest room to the left, that way getting to share the bathroom with her mom, while Harvey could have the privacy of his own bathroom. The three of them agree to take a few minutes for the both of them to get settled in, unpacked and freshened up before they would leave to pick out their Christmas tree.

* * *

The snow is still falling heavily an hour later. Dark, grey clouds cover the sky, preventing any real daylight from peeking through. There are pine trees covered in snow as far as Donna's eyes can see, almost letting her feel like she was walking through a forest instead of downtown Baltimore. She wanders along the little pathways, looking for the perfect tree. And while it had always been one of her favorite things to do on Christmas, Donna can't quite concentrate on it today. Not, when he is this close and present and affectionate and attentive. She can feel his gaze on her all of the time, even when he probably thinks she isn't noticing. It's confusing and agitating and _nice_. And it's giving her hope, even though, after thirteen years, she should know better. If only it wouldn't feel different this time around. Something is going on with Harvey and she knows it. Had started to notice it weeks and maybe even months ago, whenever they were together – which happened on a regular basis again after the fallout of their kiss. The kiss that feels like a lifetime ago now and yet not nearly long enough ago to forget how soft his lips had been or the things it had made her feel that were everything but _anything_. And while they claim to be their old and normal selves again, she can't help but think that that is as far from the truth as it has ever been. Just having him here with her is proof enough of that. She knows how Harvey feels about Christmas, knows that it's the least of his favorite holidays ever since that first Christmas after Bobby happened. Where he had to sit through Christmas eve dinner and pretend that all was happy and well while his heart was screaming. He had told her about it once, a couple of years into their friendship, during one of their rather drunken nights and never mentioned it again ever since. It still hurt her thinking about it, imagining Harvey as a sad little boy as well as the grown up version of him years later, the pain in his eyes as he had told her about it. And yet, here he is, with her and he is more relaxed and at peace than she has ever seen him. Like he is actually enjoying himself and the holidays. It's a side of him that she always knew must have existed somewhere inside of him but had never seen with her own eyes. And it's making her happy and giddy and yes, hopeful, despite knowing it better.

Donna is so deeply lost in thought that she doesn't see the black shadow rounding the corner until she bumps into it with a loud _oof_. Two hands come up to her shoulders to steady her and when his eyes find hers, tenderly and open and looking straight into her soul, bracing her hands against his chest is all she can do to keep herself from wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in the crook of his neck. His body is strong and solid and she allows herself to let her hands rest on him for a moment too long for it to just be a simple touch to steady herself. He neither doesn't notice or care, as instead a gentle smile softens his expression. It's how he always looks at her, only that this time it feels a thousand times more intense.

"Donna…", he whispers and the tone of his voice is sending a shiver down her entire body. He doesn't say more, at least not with words. If only her head could process the things he is saying with his eyes instead. But his thumb is starting to gently stroke her shoulder and it is too distracting to form any clear thoughts at all. Her heart is pounding against her sternum and if it wasn't for the traffic and the excited chatter of people around them, Donna is sure he could have heard it drumming. His gaze drops to her mouth for a nanosecond, causing her to nervously wet her lips. And then her mind shuts down altogether as he closes the distance, ever so slowly as to give her time to pull back if she wanted to. But even if she wanted to, not that she did, she is too shocked and too expectant to do anything but wait. The same thing she has been doing for thirteen years.

"There you two are. I was afraid I lost you," Susanna breaks up their moment right then and as if caught in the act, the two of them quickly but reluctantly pull apart. Susanna swiftly conceives the situation for what it was, almost feeling sorry for having interrupted them. "You found a tree?"

Donna clears her throat, taking another step back from Harvey. "Yeah. Yes. This one here," Donna replies, pointing blindly at the one behind Harvey's back. She is no longer in any constitution to actually keep looking for a tree or to make a rational decision so she prays to God that the tree she had singled out would not be a calamity.

After they had paid for the tree and stored it safely on top of Susanna's car they used the fifteen minutes' walk over to Mel's for a little stroll through the city. Harvey had never been to Baltimore before but he immediately likes it all the same, letting Susanna tell him excitedly about her favorite parts of town, shops and restaurants. Every once in a while, Donna's and Harvey's hands would brush against each other, if by accident or on purpose, Donna can't quite figure out. But whenever it happens, for a second she hopes that he would actually just take her hand in his, entwine their fingers and hold her.

The sizzling tension is palpable at any second, even more so, when they sit down right next to each other in Mel's diner. Mel herself seats them in one of the corner booths and happily chats with Susanna and Donna, while he sits by and listens. They order lunch and soon fall into an easy conversation.

"Remember the last time we all sat at a table together?" Susanna asks, looking at both Harvey and Donna.

"That go-" Harvey stops mid-sentence. "That wonderful dinner party. How could I ever forget that? I had such a great time that night. Donna and I still talk about it sometimes."

"I do have only the fondest of memories as well. I swear, I have never eaten a more delicious shrimp salad ever since," Susanna says and Harvey has to bite his tongue to keep himself from laughing. Donna sees him trembling inwardly and pinches his thigh under the table, making him bite his tongue all over again as the trembling becomes visible.

"What happened to the guy? What was his name again?" Harvey asks Susanna and he has to take a deep breath to calm himself from whatever is going through his head. Donna watches him for a moment, listens to the conversation between him and her mother and once again the feeling arises inside of her that this is far more than a simple lunch between a friend, her mother and herself.

What the hell had she gotten herself into?

* * *

Back at the house, Harvey makes it his responsibility to get the tree set up in the living room, while Donna and Susanna get busy with the "children's box". Once the tree is standing securely, Harvey joins the two women. Donna is rummaging through the carton, handing her mother piece after piece. Paintings of Santa and elves and reindeers, angels and stars made out of straw and four Santa socks they had knitted in school and that Susanna hangs next to each other on the mantlepiece. Next up is a snow globe that Donna's father had brought back from a business trip to Austria when she was seven and an original Schwibbogen from a trip to the Erzgebirge in Germany from when she was ten. Some of the decorations, Donna hands to Susanna quietly. Others, she explains to Harvey, and he hangs on every word she is saying, soaking them up. And with every story she tells, with every fond memory she has and shares with him, his own dark and depressing ones of his own childhood are replaced. With hers. And with the ones they are making in this very moment. Another wave of love and gratefulness washes over him.

The last item that remains, even though it had been the one on top of the box, is an artificial pine garland with a chain of lights in the form of stars wrapped around it. "My dad made that one, one Christmas when he had to leave the country for another business trip over the holidays. He told us to always look at the stars when we missed him and he would do the same and then the missing wouldn't be so bad anymore." Donna absentmindedly lets her fingers glide over the stars, before her gaze finds Harvey's. She gets up from her seat on the ground. "This one always goes up over the fireplace," she explains, walking over towards the fireplace, that is now cold as they hadn't relit it yet since they had come back home.

Reaching above the mantlepiece carefully as to not knock over any of the frames standing there, Donna tries to tie the cord to one of the hooks in the wall. As she extends her arm however, she immediately pulls it back with a hiss. "Shit…" she mumbles and Harvey is by her side in two strides.

"You okay?" he wants to know, placing his left hand on the small of her back. Donna twitches at the contact, Harvey pulling back his hand as if he had burned himself.

"Yeah… I think I must have pulled a muscle or something, when I fell asleep in the car earlier."

"Then let me help you, please," Harvey offers, reaching for the garland.

"Thanks, Harvey, but I can do it. I just need…" Donna replies, looking around the living room. In the corner by the piano stands a little stool that she pushes over to the fireplace. Due to the uneven surface of the stool, Donna's stand is very wobbly, triggering a need to keep her safe inside of Harvey. He steps behind her, placing both of his hands around her waist to keep her steady. Once again, Donna trembles at the sudden contact but this time Harvey doesn't let go. Donna reaches up, the task at hand a lot easier this time around since she doesn't have to extend her arm too much. Without any further problems, she straps the garland to the hook on the left side, before stepping down from the stool to move on to the other side. Harvey's hand land on her waist again, as she gets busy fixing the other end of the piece.

A knock on the door lets Donna wince in surprise. Harveys grip around her fastens on its own accord, keeping Donna grounded to the stool. Susanna heads for the entrance and only seconds later excited squeals ring through the house. Harvey looks up at Donna confused but a huge and excited grin breaks out on her face.

"That's my sister!" Donna explains elatedly, quickly fixing the garland over the fireplace now before jumping off of the chair.

"But I though she couldn't make it?"

"That's what she-" Donna begins but is interrupted by the new arrival before she can even finish her sentence.

"SURPRISE!" A smaller redhead yells, jumping joyfully into her sister's arms.

"You made it!" Donna squeals and Harvey has to think long and hard about whether he had ever seen her behave like that before. Another new side of her, another one that makes his heart beat out of his chest.

"I did! I'm so happy! My boss found his heart after all and gave us all the day off. I jumped into my car at 5 am this morning to get here as soon as possible," Donna's sister recounts, still standing in between Donna's arms. It's only then that she notices Harvey looking at them and an even brighter smile appears on her lips.

"You must be Harvey," the young woman says, extending her hand towards him. "I'm Claudia. It's so nice to finally meet you after having heard so much about you."

Harvey shakes her hand, only to be pulled into another hug from one of the Paulsen's. Claudia is about a head shorter than Donna, her face pressing against his chest in a tight embrace. "It's… it's nice to meet you, too, Claudia," Harvey responds with a small smile, patting her back awkwardly. Donna's and his eyes meet and something is shimmering in them, something that he can't quite place but makes him feel a warmth inside of him that has become all too familiar.

Once Claudia lets go of him, she turns her attention to her older sister and her mother again. "You're all done with the children's box?"

"Yeah… Sorry. We just finished with the garland. Had we know that you'd come, we would have waited for you, of course!" Donna apologizes but Claudia's disappointment only lasts for a split second.

"It's okay, sis. We still have the Christmas tree to decorate!" Claudia notes happily, pointing with his thumb in the direction of the tree in the corner. "But first I'll get my stuff up. Which room did you chose, Donna?"

An awkward silences forms in the living room, as Donna, Harvey and Susanna share thoughtful glances. It's Harvey who speaks up first. "I'll take the sofa down here. So you can have the room on the right."

"Oh sorry, Harvey. No, no, please. I'll take the sofa. I didn't think…. Or I'd have realized that both rooms are taken."

"No, really, it's okay. I'll take the sofa, it's no problem at all," Harvey responds insistently.

"No one is taking the sofa," Donna interrupts the discussion. "I'll stay with Harvey and you can take the room next to mom's. If that's okay with you?" Donna asks, directing the last question at Harvey.

"Of course. The bed is big enough for the both of us," Harvey agrees, even though he can't even begin to comprehend what he is getting himself into.

The rest of the afternoon is spent with decorating the Christmas tree and preparing Christmas eve eve dinner, another tradition of the Paulsen women, as Harvey learns. Every year, they make a delicious pumpkin soup with roasted mushrooms on the night before Christmas eve, after a recipe that is handed down in it's fourth generation now. As Harvey also learns, it is the also the first time that they allow a guy to join them, ever since Jim had left the family.

As they sit down in the dining room and enjoy the dinner, more stories of past Christmases are told, some melancholic but must of them happy or funny. Harvey is mostly quiet, listening to the women around the table, and every once in a while zoning out to reminiscence about his own childhood memories, mainly looking for some happier ones inside of his head that he could share but sadly not really finding any. Just when his mood is about to change, he can feel her hand coming to lie on top his under the table. Surprised, he turns his head to look at her, finding her smiling at him hearteningly, as she squeezes his hand. It's enough to chase all those dark thoughts away, pulling him right back to her and her family once more. As the evening drags on and the conversation continues, Donna doesn't let go of his hand.

* * *

Hours later, when the table is cleared and the dishes are stored in the dishwasher – Harvey having done most of the carrying as Donna still had troubles with her shoulder – it's way past midnight already. Donna can barely keep her eyes open as it is and Claudia is even more tired, having been on the road way earlier than they had. So they decide to call it a night and after exchanging hugs, they retreat to their respective rooms.

Both Harvey and Donna are hyper aware of the fact that after thirteen years they would finally be sharing a bed again. They are both nervous, even though neither would admit it just then. Donna quickly gets ready in the bathroom, returning self-consciously in her plaid pajama pants and a way too thin tank top that leaves nothing to the imagination. So she slips beneath the covers immediately, pulling it all the way up to her chin, while she waits for Harvey to get ready next door. She looks at him sheepishly as enters the bedroom minutes later, only wearing black boxer briefs and a white cotton t-shirt. Suddenly, neither of them is no longer sure if sleeping in one bed had been such a good idea.

Donna moves even farther to her side to give Harvey enough space but once again yelps in the process as she puts too much pressure on the wrong shoulder. His attention is on her immediately. "I'm really starting to get worried now," Harvey says concerned, sitting down on the bed and looking at her.

"It's going to be okay. I'm sure it'll be better tomorrow," Donna responds, smiling encouragingly at him. Harvey's mind reels for a few moments, before he gets up from the bed again, disappearing in the bathroom. Seconds later he returns with a bottle in his hand.

"Turn around and pull your shirt up."

"Harvey, what are you-"

"Donna, just do it."

"Wow, aren't you bossy tonight."

"There was a time when you actually liked me being bossy," Harvey winks at her, motioning with his hand to make her turn around.

"Yeah, that was thirteen years ago."

"Will you just lie down now so I can massage your neck?"

She looks at him shocked, not knowing what to say. So she does as she is told instead. With his back to him, she pulls the top over her head before lying down again on her stomach. His breathing hitches barely audible and he closes his eyes for a second to focus. He wants to help her release the pressure. Wants to make her feel better. That is all there is to it. Opening his eyes again, Harvey rubs his hands together to warm them up. He grabs for the bottle on the nightstand, dripping a few drops of the oily body lotion onto her back. Quickly he rubs his hands again.

"Ready?" Harvey whispers, his voice as shaky as his hands. Now that he is about to touch her, really touch her, in as long as he can remember, he isn't sure why he had thought that a massage would be a wise idea. He takes a deep breath and then, tentatively, rests both of his palms on her shoulder blades. He leaves them there, letting himself and her adjust to the sensation of skin against skin, while at the same time adjusting his body temperature to hers. The touch is innocent enough and yet it is all it takes for his heart to stumble and his blood to rush. Refocusing his thoughts, he concentrates his entire mind on his next movements. Slowly, his hands travel to the top of her shoulders, starting a gentle kneading motion there. At first only softly to give her muscles the chance to get used to the feeling but with every downward movement he slowly but steadily builds the pressure. He moves from the outside of her shoulder, alongside the top of it and then onwards to her neck. When Harvey reaches the knot in the left juncture of her neck and shoulder, a breathy moan escapes her lips. It rings through the room and right into Harvey's body, blood pooling in regions where he didn't want it. He shifts slightly, opening his legs a little to release the pressure forming there.

He spends at least ten minutes just massaging that knot in her neck that slowly but surely slackens under his patient and insistent ministrations. Every once in a while, a low moan or a heavy sigh disrupts the silence, hardening his member more and more with every sound. Only when he can no longer feel the knot in her neck does he move back to her shoulders, kneading and stroking the muscles into surrender. Before he can give her shoulder blades some much needed attention as well, he has to apply some more drops of the lotion in order to make her skin more slippery again, avoiding any unnecessary pain.

Harvey leans over Donna's back to reach for the bottle on the nightstand. She choses that very moment to shift her body ever so slightly, but it's enough for her buttocks to come into direct contact with the hardness in his pants. Harvey hisses and almost drops the slippery bottle out of his hand as Donna freezes beneath him. Neither moves for at least a minute, Harvey breathing heavily and Donna too overwhelmed to form any clear thought at all.

With a soft thud, Harvey puts the bottle back onto the nightstand, pulling away from her uncomfortably. It's then that Donna finally turns around to look at him. She neither notices or cares that she is still topless when she moves to face him. Her eyes are dark and hooded just as he suspects his to be. It takes everything he has in him not to let his eyes drop, staying focused on her face instead.

"Harvey?" Once again his name is more than just a word. It's insecurity and confusion and want and longing. And it heightens his own want even more, his length now pulsating almost painfully inside of his pants.

"I'm sorry…" he mumbles now, absolutely lost as to how to explain his way out of this one now. And should he even attempt to get out of it? Again? Does he want to?

"Sorry for what exactly?" Donna whispers hoarsely, turning around completely now. Breathing becomes even harder for Harvey and all of a sudden the room is too small and too sticky and if he can't have her in this very second he needs to get far, far away from her as quickly as possible. He wants to put distance between them but even thinking about moving away almost costs him the strength to stay focused on Donna's eyes. Not that they aren't every bit as distracting and arousing as a peek at her breasts would be but he knows it might get even harder than to let go of her. Harvey shifts, trying to move away and to release some of the pressure between his legs but he is stopped by her fingers wrapping around his wrist. "Don't," is all she says and her voice all but begs him to stay. To do something. To say something. _Anything_.

"I'm sorry… this wasn't supposed to… I just wanted to… I mean… It doesn't mean…"

"Please, Harvey. I beg you… Don't say that it doesn't mean anything. This reaction clearly means _something_ ," Donna states, releasing his wrist and instead stroking over the front of his pants with a purposefully. The touch elicits a deep growl that vibrates through Harvey's chest. This time it's his fingers that wrap around her wrist, stopping her from any further movement.

"You're playing with fire now, Donna," Harvey groans and he has no idea where he is finding the strength to not roll on top of her and bury himself inside of her body so deeply that neither would know where one began and the other ended.

"Haven't we been playing with fire ever since the day we've met?" she counters, holding his steady gaze. Space and time cease to exist and Harvey prays for a sign, anything, that would tell him what to do know. He knows, feels, in every touch and word and look from her that she would let him do whatever he decided to do. He could kiss her and she would kiss him back. He could sleep with her and she would be right there with him. But what then? Where would that lead them? Would she regret it? Hate him for it tomorrow, after she realized that it had been a mistake? Having been thoughtless and reckless with each other in the past had brought nothing but pain, trouble and distance to their relationship. No. He could not let that happen again. Not now, when he finally knows what he wants. There is just too much at stake.

So Harvey gently places her hand on her stomach instead, his eyes quickly sweeping over her body on its own accord just then. It makes him rethink his decision to be a gentleman for a split second, but it's gone as quickly as it came. He looks at Donna's face again apologetically. By then she as well has realized that nothing was going to happen that night. A pained expression shoos over her face and she pulls the comforter over her body now, bringing it between them like a shield. Donna bows down to grab her top from the ground, then pulling it over her head. She looks at him one last time, before rolling to her side, facing away from him.

Harvey wants to kick himself for having hurt her once again, when it's the last thing he ever wants to do. He knows he needs to get it right this time.

"Donna," he begins, gently touching her shoulder.

"Harvey, don't," she stops him, her voice hurting. He pulls back his hand with a sigh.

"Just look at me, please. Let me explain," Harvey begs and it's thankfully enough for her to turn around once again, an expectant look in her eyes. "Believe me… I have never wanted anyone as much as I want you. I've never wanted _you_ as much as I want you right in this moment," he admits truthfully and it is actually only half as difficult as he would have expected. "But not like this… not in a heat of the moment situation. I can't risk that… can't risk you regretting it in the morning and leaving me for good just because I didn't have my dick under control. You deserve more than that. We both do, okay?"

Donna doesn't quite know what to say to that, her head still clouded with arousal and disappointment, passion and pain, and a hundred other emotions that she can't comprehend just then. "So now what? We just pretend this didn't just happen, like we always do?" she wants to know after both fall silent for a moment.

"No, Donna. Now we both calm down and try to get some sleep. And tomorrow morning we go out for coffee or a walk or whatever. And we'll talk. About what all of this means. And how we go on from here. Alright?"

A nod is all Donna can manage, not trusting her voice to not fail her, as she lets herself sink back into the cushions. She doesn't turn away from him this time however, but watches him as he leans over to turn out the lights. With one last glance over his shoulder, he smiles at her before pushing the button.

"Good night, Donna."

"Night, Harvey," she responds and when his hand tentatively reaches for hers under the covers, their fingers entwining in a secure hold, a ray of hope puts the pieces of her heart back together.

* * *

In the few seconds between sleep and waking, that moment were dreams feel real and nothing seems impossible, it takes Donna a few heartbeats to figure out where the intense heat, the familiar smell and the pressure in her hand are actually coming from. Until it hits her and she does. That's when her eyes snap open and her heart starts thumping and pictures and words and promises of last night wash over her.

Her eyes adjust to the darkness quickly, thanks to the slit of daylight peeking inside through the closed curtains. Harvey is lying beside her, still peacefully asleep. His hand is holding onto her the way they had fallen asleep last night but that is about as much as they are touching. And Donna sends a devote ejaculation to the sky, thanking whoever was up there for saving them both from the embarrassment of 'accidentally' ending up all tangled up in each other during sleep like it always happened in one of those cheesy romance movies or novels. And yet, they are close enough for his warmth to seep into her where their upper arms are almost touching and for his hot breath to gently caress her face. She would only have to move her head an inch to be able to kiss his shoulder or to connect his lips with her forehead or to bury her nose in his neck and even though the temptation to do just all of that seems too great to resist, for now she tries to be happy with the 'almost'. An 'almost' that is about to change if for once Harvey would actually follow through with his words. A hum of excitement and anticipation grips her, chasing away all the remaining tiredness.

Donna has no idea how early or late it is, nor how long she is lying there staring at him, so lost in thought that she doesn't even notice his breath changing.

"You plan on staring at me much longer? There are people out there who'd say it's creepy." He keeps his eyes closed, his voice low and scratchy and it tickles something deep inside of Donna.

"And how would you even know that I'm awake and looking at you?" Donna shoots back.

"Your breath is erratic and your palm is sweaty," Harvey replies confidently.

"Oh please. Don't flatter yourself, Harvey." Donna smacks his shoulder playfully and only then does Harvey finally open his eyes to look at her, a teasing smiling forming on his lips.

"See. Told ya I knew you were staring at me," Harvey says, his gaze fixed on her now, as he partly rolls to his side to get a better look at her.

"You're impossible," Donna replies and rolls her eyes at him.

"And you're beautiful," Harvey replies truthfully, the waggishness gone from his voice now.

Donna audibly and shakily inhales, a slight blush coloring her pale cheeks. It makes Harvey's smile even brighter. He waits for her to say something but Donna is still unsure as to how they go on from here. Something clearly happened last night that could not be ignored any longer. Then again, other things had been said and done in the past that they had done an amazing job at ignoring and lying about. Would this be another one of these moments?

As if Harvey could hear her thoughts, he brings his hand up to her face, sweeping a loose strand of her hair out of her face. "I do want to talk about what happened last night," Harvey reassures her and his words evoke a relived sigh from Donna. "What do you say about getting ready and having breakfast with your mom and sister and then we take a walk in the park? Just the two of us?"

"I would love that," Donna whispers, nodding her head ever so slightly.

Harvey leaves the warmth of the bed first, brushing his teeth and taking a quick shower. It takes him less than twenty minutes to return to the bedroom, all but wearing a towel around his hips. His hair is in disarray and still dripping, single drops of water running down over his chest. Donna watches him for a few seconds, the sight all but making her heart beat out of her chest. The way he moves about the room, confident and proud, not even caring that he is practically naked and Donna watching. Realizing that she would not get herself calmed down if she stayed in bed, she quickly jumps out and makes her way over to the bathroom. After taking a shower herself, the last minute and a half with water running as cold as she could bear, she gets her hair fixed and dresses in a pair of jeans and a warm, ruby colored cashmere sweater. Harvey is sitting on the end of the bed – covers and pillows already fluffed up – typing something on his cellphone, as Donna reenters their room. He stands up when he sees her, walking towards her with a smile. Donna curses herself inwardly once again, being so overwhelmed by his presence, that breathing normally really starts to become a problem. Harvey is wearing black jeans and a black cardigan, only a small rim of white cotton peeking out from under the collar. His hair is still wet and combed to the side, while a light stubble graces the lower half of his face. If Donna would ever use the word 'beautiful' to describe a man, this is the moment.

Once they leave the room, they can already hear commotion downstairs, soft footfalls and voices, music and the clinking of cutlery. When they reach the kitchen, the smell of freshly brewed coffee greets them. "Good morning and merry Christmas, you two! Did you sleep well?" Susanna greats the pair joyfully.

"Merry Christmas," both Harvey and Donna say in unison, making them both smile at each other. "We both slept very well, thanks mom. And it smells delicious in here. What is that?" Donna wants to know, stepping around the isle to look into the baking dish that is resting there.

"I made banana bread for breakfast," Susanna explains, just then putting bacon into a pan.

"Is there anything I can help with?" He wants to be useful just as much as he needs to keep himself occupied until he and Donna would finally be able to talk. He knows what he wants to say and he knows what he wants but despite believing – or is it just a really distinctive form of hope? – that Donna might feel the same, there is still a tiny nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach that she won't.

"Thank you, Harvey, that is really kind of you. If you want to, you can set the table in the dining room," Susanna suggests and Harvey gets busy with it right away. As if had lived his whole life in the house and not less than 24 hours, he moves confidently through the kitchen, getting the plates and napkins and cups and glasses from their respective cupboards and drawers. He is halfway finished when Claudia joins him with a yawn, having just gotten out of bed minutes earlier. While Harvey places the cutlery next to the plates in an accurate distance, Claudia folds the napkins into artistic swans and together they get the table ready for breakfast.

Just like dinner the night before, breakfast is an equally easy and comfortable undertaking. The three women discuss their plans for the day, all of which are leading up to the big Christmas eve dinner tonight. And while it seems like it's going to be a busy and stressful day at first, with the Paulsen's enthusiasm and joy it would probably be anything but that. Harvey is actually looking forward to experience it all, and will do so even more, once the talk with Donna would turn out the way he hopes it will.

One and a half hours later, the four of them are ready to head out into the cold. It had stopped snowing sometime this morning and the sun is just about to fight its way through the still dark and grey clouds. Susanna and Claudia are both holding boxes of cookies in their hands that they would gift their immediate neighbors with now, while Harvey helps Donna slip into her coat. The two couples head into opposite directions, Susanna and Claudia to the left, Harvey and Donna to the right and while the chatter of the two women follows them down their road for a few moments, the other pair remains silent, neither really knowing where to actually start now.

For thirteen excruciatingly long years they had both perfected the art of hiding their feelings for each other behind friendly banter and serious fights, behind flirting and lying and by pretending to have feelings for other people, that now that they are actually ready to face the truth they have no idea where to even begin.

"You're making me nervous, Harvey," Donna finally says, after they had just entered the Druid Hill Park.

"What? How? I'm not doing anything," Harvey replies, watching her from the corner of his eyes.

"Yeah, exactly. And it's making me nervous," Donna chuckles edgily. They walk on in silence again, both taking in the breathtaking scenery of the park covered in a white blanket and the frozen lake in its southern corner for just a moment.

"Sorry, Donna. I didn't mean to. I just… I have no idea where to start." Honesty probably is always a good place, Harvey figures.

"Okay… well… let's start with last night. What happened there?" Donna tries helping him along. She knows she could push him to talk, could take the lead in the conversation, but if this – whatever this is going to be – was supposed to work in the future, Donna needs to know that Harvey can talk about it on his own, about his feelings and wants and needs, without Donna having to force him to do it. And so she waits. Expectantly. Hopefully. Compassionately.

"What happened last night is the same thing that always happens when we are too close. I want you. With a bone-aching need, I want you. At times, I haven't quite been able to identify it for what it was… and at other times I have simply ignored it.. but ever since that night in your office… I just can't ignore it any longer," Harvey replies and the tone in his voice leaves no doubt about the veracity and profundity of his words.

"And yet… even though I practically invited you to do something about it last night, you pulled back." There is no accusation in her voice, just confusion and curiosity alike. They keep walking alongside the frozen Druid lake but they are mentally so wrapped up in each other now that they can longer enjoy the view.

"I wanted to be a gentleman, Donna." He explains as if it should have been obvious.

"Don't we both know that you're not?" Donna replies teasingly, pumping her shoulder into his.

"Is that really what you would have wanted though? Me, taking advantage of the situation?" Harvey wants to know, looking at her directly now.

"You wouldn't have taken advantage. I wanted the same thing as you did."

"But it would have felt like it. And I couldn't risk that. Like I said last night, I just can't risk loosing you, Donna."

"We've had sex before, Harvey, and you haven't lost me back then either."

"Things were different back then."

"How?" Donna wants to know, coaxing him for more truth.

Silence falls over them as they walk on, Donnas eyes falling on a couple of swans on the shore of the lake. They rest there, heads hidden under their wings, their bodies so close to each other that they are spending each other warmth.

Harvey's fingers wrap around Donna's wrist, stopping her. He steps in front of her, locking their eyes. Donna's heart starts hammering in her chest as a feeling of foreboding and excited anticipation courses through her, hot and consuming like a wildfire. Things were about to change. Forever.

"I didn't love you back then. At least not in the way I love you now," Harvey admits and immediately feels the weight being lifted off of his heart. Just as Donna feels the very same, the sensation almost bringing tears to her eyes.

She wants to say something. Should say something? But her mind is blank. She had anticipated truth. Had imagined a couple of scenarios last night as to how this conversation could possibly go. Had hoped that it would move them somewhere. _Anywhere_. And still, it hadn't prepared her to hear those words out of his mouth. Not like that. Openly. Honestly.

"And before you ask _how_ I love you. I love you in all the ways. As my colleague. As my best friend. But above all else, I love you as my everything. My everything and more," he explains, hoping that she would understand what he meant, that he can _not_ possibly love her any more than that.

"I…," Donna begins, her words leaving her once more with a deep sigh. "When did you become so good with words all of a sudden?"

"Well. I… I had a little help those past few months."

"Lipschitz?"

"Yeah. He helped me figure out a couple of things. Mostly, that I no longer want to let my fear of losing people, especially of losing you, dictate my life and my relationships."

"Harvey…"

"I do love you, Donna. And I know you said you didn't feel anything when you kissed me but I hope… I hope that maybe… just maybe… it was just another one of these truths we made ourselves believe."

Time slows down as the words and the truth sets in. Here they are at last, after thirteen years and seven weeks, three days and approximately fourteen hours, admitting everything that should have been said all along. It would have saved them heartache and precious time, that they could have spent loving each other.

"Say something," Harvey whispers, as he brings his hand up to cup her face. Her cheeks are rosy, the freckles almost blending in with the color. With huge eyes she looks at him, the emotions she tries to give a voice to right there shimmering in depths of emerald. An affectionate smile spreading on her lips is the first clue to Harvey that Donna probably wouldn't kick his ass. The sparkling in her eyes a second. And then she leans in and kisses him. With everything she has in her and with everything that can't be formed into words, she kisses him.

His hand glides into her hair, holding her to him and pulling her closer still. Her soft sigh vibrates against her lips and she takes another step closer, their bodies now flush against each other. Donna wraps her arms around his waist and can feel how he trembles, as their tongues meet in a sensual touch. Love consumes them, just as much as heat and passion and longing. There is relief and hope and at least another dozen emotions that had been suppressed for way too long. They don't notice the two swans looking at them now from under their wings nor the elderly couple that walks by them, whispering at each other how nice it would be to be young and in love once more. Harvey and Donna are oblivious to everything but them. The butterflies in Donna's stomach multiply with every second of his warm lips gently moving against hers and even more so when gentle turns into heat. And just like that past night, the need for him, to feel him, everywhere, is all she can think about. Only when the lack of oxygen becomes an issue, after minutes or hours, do they reluctantly pull apart. Breathlessly they stare at each other, stupid grins plastered on their faces.

"I love you, Donna," he repeats again, his thumb stroking over her cheek. "Fascinating how easy it is to say those words once they are out," Harvey muses.

"It is, isn't it?" Donna replies. "And I love you, too, Harvey. In case that wasn't obvious," Donna admits at last and is granted with another breathtaking kiss that leaves her dizzy and lightheaded.

When they feel like they have stilled their thirst for now, even though an inkling feeling spreads that it would probably never be stilled ever again, not really, they entwine their hands and continue their stroll around the lake.

"Where do we go on now from here?" Harvey asks after a few moments of silence and calming their breaths.

"There really is only one way to go, isn't there? We've both tried living life without each other. We've tried living with other people. Both didn't work out so well. So now we go with the only option that's left and logical. You and me." Donna replies, squeezing his hand reassuringly.

"You and me. I like the sound of that…" Harvey sighs, squeezing her hand right back. "Just… what about work? What about your rule?"

"I don't want to keep us a secret, if that's what you're asking. But it is important to me that I'm respected inside and outside of the office for the work I'm doing, not for anything else. However, that'll be something we'll figure out as we go, okay? Let's not worry about it today and just be happy that we're finally _here_."

Harvey agrees with a nod and a happy smile that lights up his whole face. They finish their round, mostly quietly, every once in a while stopping to kiss each other and reassuring themselves that it is really happening. Back at home, Susanna and Claudia are already waiting for them and together, the four start with the preparation for Christmas eve dinner.

It's filled with music and joy and laughter and a kind of warmth and content fills Harvey didn't know existed. When the potato soup is slowly cooking on the stove and the turkey prepared and in the oven, Susanna and the younger Paulsen daughter head upstairs for some other preparations, while Donna and Harvey stay downstairs in the living room. She plays the piano for him, some Christmassy melodies that he knows all too well and some other ones that he has never heard before. Harvey lies on the sofa, listening to the music but even more so enjoying the sight of a carefree Donna softly hitting the keyboard, her fingers contently dancing over the black and white pieces as if she had only played yesterday and not years ago for the last time. She's breathtaking, the way she sways with the music, back and forth, eyes closed in concentration. It stirs something inside of Harvey, a longing to be close to her, to be the rhythm of her music. For a second he wishes they were alone so that they could continue what they had started last night but before he can even finish that thought, they are joined by her family again and to pass the time until dinner, they all make themselves comfortable on the big sofa, watching movies like 'Santa Clause' and 'Love Actually'. By the end of the first movie, Harvey and Donna are holding hands and by the end of the second, he has his arm wrapped around her and she her head buried against his chest. It's only then, when the credits roll, that both Susanna and Claudia notice the shift in the couples' closeness.

It's once again Harvey who busies himself with setting the table, while in the kitchen Donna excitedly tells her family about the new development of her relationship with Harvey. They think they are doing it quietly, think they are whispering as they share in the joy, but Harvey can actually hear every word all the way over in the dining room. He shakes his head unbelievingly but his heart warms at hearing how happy Donna truly is. Because of him. Finally.

Christmas eve dinner is one of the most joyous experiences Harvey ever got to make. Aside from the fact, that it is also one of the most delicious meals he has ever had, the time he gets to spend with the three women is filling his heart with Christmas memories he will most likely never forget again. Just like he will never forget that day in general. Waking up next to her, them finally talking and kissing and loving, getting to watch her interact with her family and getting to watch her play the piano. Their little moments and glances and touches that warm his heart and steal his breath. Just like in that very moment, with her hand resting on his thigh, as she tells a story about two drunken first year associates at the firm's Christmas party. Thankfully, Harvey already knows the story, had been present first hand after all, because the way she keeps touching him, her thumb drawing little circles on his thigh, is making it harder and harder to concentrate on anything else but the intimate contact. It also makes something else harder and harder and Harvey isn't sure how much more he could take before he would make an absolute fool out of himself. And why is it so hot all of a sudden anyway? Hadn't they just aired out the dining room half an hour ago? Harvey places one hand on hers, stopping her movement by entwining their fingers, while his other hand works on unbuttoning the two top buttons of his shirt.

It's almost midnight again, when they finally decide to call it a night. Claudia heads upstairs first, while Susanna ominously disappears downstairs into the cellar, telling them to head to bed and to not wait for her. Only once she is gone does Harvey dare to get up from the table and he lets out a sight of relief as his pants around his crotch become slack. Donna doesn't comment it, maybe doesn't even notice, and together they walk up the stairs to their room.

He lets out another deep sigh of relief, once he closes the door behind them, finally being alone with her at last. "I need to take a cold shower now. Or three."

Donna turns around to look at him and her eyes scan over his body, landing on the bulge between his legs. With a raised eyebrow, she looks back up into his face, a sly smile spreading on her lips as she moves closer. "I know of something else that might be just as helpful as a cold shower," Donna replies and without saying another word, she kisses him, pressing her whole body against his. A sound between a hiss and a growl erupts in his chest and even though their bodies are already as close as they can possibly get while still dressed, he wraps both of his arms around Donna and crashes her even tighter against his entire length. With every second that passes, with every movement of their lips and with every breath and sigh, the need and desire rise to heights that both of them hadn't experienced in a very long time. It feels a little like their first night together, all these years back, when the flirting and teasing had lead to the only possible conclusion. And yet it feels nothing like that at all. It is stronger, deeper, more intense. Her kisses and her touches, the way she presses her hips against his in a rhythmic motion and the way she nibbles against his lower lip before connecting them in another searing kiss is almost enough to push him right to the edge. He knows that he won't last long this first time around, his need for her too deep and consuming to calm himself down or to take it slow.

Harvey moves them backwards and before they even reach the bed, he has pulled down the zip of her blue dress. Breaking the kiss, he uses both of his hands to gently push the straps down, watching as the fabric glides down all by itself in a soft woosh, once the straps had gone over her shoulders. He leans in again, this time connecting his lips with her neck. He nibbles and kisses and moans, as he feels her hands starting to unbutton his shirt. Every button that slips through its hole excites him more, fuels his need even further. With a tug, she pulls the shirt out of his pants, opening up the last buttons before she helps him shrug out of it. Not once do his lips leave her body, that he is still covering with kisses and nibbles. Her hands start their own exploration, travelling over his chest, that is still covered with a white t-shirt. It doesn't stay long, Donna pulling it up and over his head mere seconds later. Only then does Harvey stop with his ministrations, looking at her with hooded eyes. The same desire that he is feeling in every cell of his body is mirrored right there in her expression. Harvey wraps one arm around her, placing his palm on the small of her back, as he helps her lying down on the bed. He looks at her, as he shakily opens first his belt and then his pants, pushing them down over his hips, before stepping out of them. Donna eyes him hungrily, holding her arms out for him to join her. Harvey allows himself one more look at her, knowing that he can't bear not being buried inside of her much longer. Her black, lacy underwear, that he can't help but wonder if she had put them on only for him, are in stark contrast to her pale skin and he thinks she has never looked more breathtaking than right this second. With both of his hands coming to rest next to her body, he lowers himself on top of her, kissing her hungrily once more.

The contact of skin against skin is intoxicating and even if they got to spend a long and happy life together, he would never get used to or enough of that sensation alone. After what feels like an eternity of just kissing and pressing their bodies together desperately, Harvey slightly rolls off of her and to his side, leaving only one leg between hers, his hardness pressing into her hip. He doesn't break the kiss but with one of his hands free now, he is able to touch her, to let his hand travel up and down her sides first, before concentrating more on the front of her body. He gently cups her breast through the fabric and he can feel her harden under his touch. Donna groans against Harvey's lips, which spurs him on even more. Torn between wanting to worship her body until she would beg him to bury himself inside of her and to do exactly that right now, he breaks their kiss, letting his lips travel to her neck and shoulder and then further down her upper body, his tongue tracing the outlines of her bra, before continuing on. Only when he has covered every inch of her skin, does he return to her lips for another passionate kiss. He lifts her up slightly, one hand slipping beneath her back to undo her bra, before stripping it off her body. Then his lips covers one of her nipples, gently licking and biting, eliciting a low moan from Donna, as her hands bury themselves in his hair, holding him to her. More blood rushes south, pushing him to press his groin into the mattress, looking to relief the pressure.

Donna can feel his movements, can sense his need, so she guides him back up to her face, joining their lips once more as they both relieve each other from the last pieces of clothing that still separated them. Harvey comes to rest on top of her again, their eyes now locked to each other in an intense gaze. He reaches down between them, letting his fingers slide over her until he finds her warmth. And wetness. He knows he could just push himself into her now, knows that he also doesn't have much more strength left to not do just that, but the way she squirms beneath him, her lips a silent moan as he presses down on her clit is too mesmerizing to watch to not drive her wild for another five or ten shaky heartbeats. Her breath hitches only a few moments later and he can feel that she is as close to loosing her mind than he is. Not wanting to torture the both of them any longer, he looks into her eyes once more.

"Do we need to…," he hoarsely whispers, so caught up in the moment that he had almost forgotten about that little precaution.

"Got it covered… if you…"

Harvey nods reassuringly, before leaning down again to kiss her. Impatiently, Donna pushes her hips up against his, eliciting a throaty moan erupting from Harvey's lips as she presses against his hardness. It is enough to finally get him moving, him reaching down between them to guide himself to her entrance. He slowly starts pushing forward, trying to burn the sensation of feeling her slowly wrapping herself around him once more into his memory. The tightness of her body is almost sufficent to send Harvey over the edge. With everything he has in him, he keeps himself from just starting to thrust inside of her or else it would be over in less than a minute. So he slowly withdraws instead, before just as slowly sliding into her warmth once more. His thrust are slow and even, giving them both a few moments to adjust to the feeling of tightness and hotness that is burning them up alive. They fit together so perfectly that Harvey suddenly understands why it had never worked out with anyone else. And why it would never work out with anyone but her in the future. Because she is that for him. His future. His life.

Donna kisses his shoulder then, wrapping her legs around his waist to let him sink in even deeper. Harvey comes to rest on his arms now, kissing her as passionately, as his thrusts speed up. Donna's hands slide over his shoulders, to the small of his back, before gently digging her fingernails into his butt, shooting a bolt through his body and making his hips surge forwards even harder. Donna meets each and every one of his forward movements, lifting her hips in just the right time and just the right angle for him to stroke that sweet spot inside of her. They have both found the perfect rhythm now and it doesn't take long until Harvey can feel the tight muscles of her body starting to quiver, just as his strokes become faster and more urgent, both soaring higher and higher, with nothing to stop them now. When they are both there, at the edge of their climaxes, Harvey sneaks one of his hands between their bodies again, urgently rubbing her clit while his hardness slips in and out of her frantically. Her groan disrupts the silence of the room, as her body arches up from the bed, lips pressing against his shoulders to keep herself from waking the house, when stars explode behind her eyes. Her muscles contract around him in waves and it's all it takes to push Harvey over the cliff right there with her. He collapses on top of her, their heavy breaths and hammering heartbeats the only sound in the otherwise silent room for a very long time. Only when he feels that he is about to fall asleep, all wrapped up inside of her body and embrace, does he find the strength to roll off of her. He gets out of bed to get a wash cloth from the bathroom and to help her get cleaned up, before he carelessly lets the fabric fall to the ground on his side of the bed.

Donna rolls into his side, resting her head against his chest, as his arm sneaks around her shoulder.

"I love you, Donna," Harvey whispers, pressing his lips against the top of her head in a loving kiss.

"Love you, too," Donna replies drowsily, already half asleep as a profound peace settles inside of her heart.

* * *

 _Last Christmas_ is playing in the background the next morning as Harvey unpacks his Christmas present, surrounded by the three Paulsen women. Below the wrapping paper, he finds a little black, velvety casket, the he slowly opens.

Inside of it, Harvey finds a pair of silver cufflinks. As he takes a closer look at the elegant form, he recognizes them for what they are and a knowing, sly smile appears on his lips.

"Strawberries? Really?" Harvey chuckles, his heart bursting with love for the woman sitting right next to him.

"Yeah. I thought with your love for inanimate objects and everything…"

"You mean, my love for you?" Harvey replies, not even caring that Susanna and Claudia are watching them, probably not understanding a single word of their private joke.

"That, too." Donna winks at him, before they seal their lips in a quick kiss. It lasts just a second but it's enough to stir a hunger inside the both of them that makes them both looking forward to going home tomorrow where they would finally be able to celebrate their love as much and loudly as they both wanted to.

Clearing his throat to keep his mind from going there, he shuts the casket close and focuses on Donna's present instead, that is lying safely in her lap. The dark, red leather is faded, just as the golden letters forming the word Shakespeare's Sonnets. But the little book is close to two hundred years old so for that age it's actually in great shape.

"What's your favorite?" Harvey wants to know, watching her joyfully as she gets right to carefully browsing through the pages. She looks up at him for a second, shooting him a grateful smile before she starts reading out loud:

"Let me not to the marriage of true minds  
Admit impediments. Love is not love  
Which alters when it alteration finds,  
Or bends with the remover to remove:  
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark  
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;  
It is the star to every wandering bark,  
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken  
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks  
Within his bending sickle's compass come:  
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,  
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.  
If this be error and upon me proved,  
I never writ, nor no man ever loved."

\- The End –


End file.
